For the past 25 years I have been teaching people how and why to teach their kids about money.  And yet, many still struggle with how to teach their kids about their money choices.  I think I know why.

Most of the adults I work with, and listen to, are genuinely wonderful parents.  They LOVE their kids.  They want to give their kids everything they did not have.  And therein lies the problem.  The “giving” is more about the parents than it is about their kids. This genuine desire to “give” everything their kids want or need is actually filling a hole parents fell in to when they were kids. Adults don’t want their kids to suffer or struggle as they did growing up. So, now that parents or guardians have the means to “give”, they want to do so.  And I totally get that.

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I am often asked by parents what they need to do to teach their kids about money. Before I answer I usually ask the parent to tell me about their money behavior, their money values. Inevitably, it leads us to another conversation – how money was handled in their lives. How they remember the lessons from their parents. That conversation is the critical first step that parents need to take before they begin to teach their kids about money. I call it a “look in the mirror” moment. Why? Because we all carry money baggage around with us. Understanding what that baggage is – both good and bad – is important as it will come through in the lessons you teach your kids about money.

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Parents have long understood the power of going shopping without their kids in tow. Why? We spend more and on things we never ever intended when they are with us. Why again? It’s because of “influence” spending – when kids ask (beg) their parents or guardians to spend their money for something the child tells us they really, really want. Kids are groomed to spend by what they are seeing in ads on TV, social media and in game apps.

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The first person to have said “Practice makes perfect” is an open question. John Adams? Benjamin Franklin? Cannot say for sure. But I can say that the principal of “practice makes perfect” is solid gold advice. Many have expanded this saying by enhancing “perfect” with “permanent”. Indeed. Consistent practice of any skill shapes behavior. And the way to shape money behavior is to give your child the opportunity to practice – and that starts with allowance.

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